remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
