Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
