I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
