Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
false alarm. still invincible.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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