come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
