No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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