My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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