Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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