News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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