My Higher Power is John Stamos
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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