Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize