I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
time to smoke my breakfast
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize