Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
