Kiss
Puke
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
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They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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