do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
