cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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