I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
