Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
