How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
