Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize