and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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