i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
