my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
