OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am available for nakedness
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
