My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
