Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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