i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize