Non-Jews are for practice
I CAN MOONWALK!
where am i from again
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
