i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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