just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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