last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
