Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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