I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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