I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize