State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
