mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize