I think my vagina is haunted
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
