im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
