She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
