Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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