This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
