why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
