the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
