I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
