so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
