He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As shirtless as possible
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
