I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
