im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
