I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
