if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think I am morally bankrupt
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
