I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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