Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
