At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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