I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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