I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
