dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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