So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
