3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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